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      Imposter Syndrome.     Have you ever felt that you are not enough to handle a particular job or you feel like you don’t deserve the success that you have achieved? Or when someone compliments your success your response is “I got lucky?” This is what we call Imposter syndrome. It is when you feel inadequate and you doubt your skills. The good news is its normal many people experience this. Surprisingly, even Einstein confessed to have suffered from imposter syndrome and even Maya Angelou one of the greatest writers also opened up about suffering from imposter syndrome.     This syndrome can have a negative effect if not managed well someone might start underperforming at work even in school. It affects productivity because one might lack motivation. Imagine if Maya Angelou allowed the imposter syndrome to drag her down, we would not be reading interesting poems. Einstein would not have contributed to the field of physics. I have suffered and still...

  LESSONS THAT KENYAN COUPLES CAN LEARN FROM THE PARENTS OF SINCERELY DAISY.         “Spoiler alert” “Sincerely Daisy,” is the third movie to make a premier on Netflix.  This show is a coming of age story about a girl who is transitioning from high school to university and how her journey for self-discovery unfolds.  This interesting tale was one I enjoyed but the two who in my case stole the show were Daisy’s parents. The duo baba Daisy (Sam Psenjen) and mama Daisy (Mbeki Mwalimu) onscreen chemistry was off the roof.  What fascinated me about the two characters was how the writer creatively crafted the two characters who are dynamic and different but were perfect for each other. They are unlike most conventional couples/parents in Kenya.  Firstly, their open display of affection was something unique I don’t mean nonexistence in Kenya I just mean not common. The opening and the ending of the movie shows the couple lovingly wrapped...

 SAY WHAAT? "I am sorry I did not get that,could you repeat it ?" In the year I spent abroad,I heard this statement about twice  everyday. At first I did not mind repeating and repeating  over again what I had said to make things clearer . I had to be the one saying things wrong .English is after all a second language to me, surrounded by native speakers, I had to try extra hard to make myself understood.  I was wrong .I  came to the realization that, I was just speaking their language the only way I knew how and  I was not going to apologize for that. In Kenya we can quickly tell where someone comes from from the way they speak. Over the years it has become quite clear that there is a 'right' way to speak.Failure to learn this way results in ridicule. All the comedy shows ridicule the various communities and how they speak. Its all in good fun until we realize that we are creating more division.We have quickly moved on to giving our children not just one o...

 STRONG GIRL SYNDROME Perfect hair,right outfit ,quiet,polite and oh yeah,the most important thing an abundance of smiles.Research conducted shows that,a majority of girls are encouraged from a young age to measure their worth based on how well they accomplish their tasks.Thinking back,how many times did we hear the phrase " be a good girl".While there is nothing wrong with getting good grades,smiling  or being well behaved,research has shown that a majority of girls grow up to be people pleasers.They stay in jobs because they have to,they don't speak up when they need to because they believe they shouldn't.If we have learned  anything about being a woman  in this century,it's that we have to stand out and speak up.We need to be strong girls . Strong girls know to set goals and achieve them.Nothing good comes without a fight.Nothing is out of bounds.Boxer,teacher,race car driver,model ,artist,doctor nothing is impossible.Remember shortcuts come at a price.Achievem...

  Can you forgive your partner who cheated? I read this interesting article in the standard media, how Infidelity is the fastest growing business in Kenya. Currently with all the news circulating of celebs and prominent people caught cheating it has caused a bit of stir and controversies.  Last weekend I was out with some of my girlfriends through our random discussions we started discussing about cheating. It turned out to be a very heated debate where one friend said they can never forgive a spouse who cheated on her because the trust is already gone. My other friend said she will forgive the spouse if they promise not to repeat again. This banter went on and on so we had to agree to disagree. This got me thinking can cheating be  considered a mistake? And is ending a relationship the final solution? A research states that 30% to 60% of married individuals will engage in Infidelity at some point in their marriage. This is not limited to only men, women also cheat . Rela...

  Things you should stop saying to hijabis        One evening we were sitted with my two sisters comparing notes on most things people have told us about wearing hijab in work places, in schools and even just among friends.        I will explore some of the questions or comments that most hijabis find insensitive. 1. When a hijabi says I go to the salon stop commenting why do you go when no one sees your hair? We don't make our hair so that someone can see it we do it because we want to look nice for ourselves. 2. When a hijabi complains about a bad hair day! Stop saying but it's covered it's not like it's a problem. Yes we do have bad hair day and just as you feel bad about yours so do we. 3. When a hijabi talks about highlights stop yourself from looking shocked and asking why do you bother when you cover your hair? We "bother" because we want to look good not for other people’s acknowledgement but for our own....

  Mental Health If you ask most people what they understand about mental health most people automatically say it's someone who is crazy. With this understanding the topic of mental health is approached by most people with stigma and a topic that people hardly talk about.  Mental health is important and platforms should be created to encourage people to open up. In Kenya the suicide rate is on the all time high. It's common to see in the media stories about suicide cases because of profound reasons. For instance, a middle aged man recently committed murder because of loan. Even the story of young students committing suicide because of not performing well in there final exams. Even more bizarre is the tale of parents who kill the children and also kill themselves maybe because of a spouse who left them or something. WHO reported in the recent data that 421 suicide cases  330 are men. With high cases of attempted suicide from women. One of the main causes being depression. D...

  Mirror mirror on the wall.... Yesterday I watched one of my favorite Disney movies beauty and the beast. I found myself questioning physical attraction .I mean in the beginning the beast is a literal beast not only in looks but also in behavior.Bella is able to overlook his aapperance and fall in love even before he tranforms into a prince.This tale is especially relevant today.Reserch conducted by Luo and Zhang in 2009 continues to reaffirm the notion that we seek love with those we find attractive. So why exactly are we so attracted to ‘shiny things’ is it the vanity in most of us? Surprisingly this trait occurs in both men and women and in most cultures. We want to be associated with attractive things. What makes us pause to swipe right instead of left? I remember once hearing a group of friends talking about only wanting to be seen out in the open with attractive dates. They went as far as admitting to having dated women for as long as six months and not introduced them to th...

   THE VICIOUS CYCLE THAT IS THE HAVES AND HAVE NOTS " Integrity, transparency  and the fight against corruption have to be part of the culture.They have to be thought as fundamental values ''Angel  Gurria   Secretary General for the organization of Economic  Co-operation and development .The past few weeks have been a painful reminder of the moral decadence  in our institutions. As usual there was an uproar  on social media,protests and the usual commissions were formed.One particular atrocity,however, stood out  for me.A certain governor allegedly used funds from his county, to send his children to schools abroad and  buy them houses. We never stop to ask ourselves why some names in government and our leading institutions are so familiar.It seems that power and money consistently revolve around the same families .We keep talking about providing equal opportunity for Kenyans.We pay our taxes and receive donations from organizations...

Is the new education system plausible? Recently I stumbled upon this show by NTV "degree of doubt" where we have graduates who have graduated from different courses but fail to gain employment there harrowing stories of how they performed well in school but the hope that education was to rescue them from poverty proved infutile. They are forced to work odd jobs and still have unpaid students loans that have doubled up. There horrific narration brings into question what is the point? We all know the importance of education. As Mandela said "education is a tool that can be used to change the world."Kenya developed the new curriculum 2-6-3-3-3 which was launched last year also referred as competence based system  to address the gaps in the 8-4-4 system which has been exam oriented rather than acquiring applicable skills. The new curriculum offers to make students more competent and to focus on career and talent. Assessment will be through continuous assessments not one...

 SOCIAL MEDIA THE MODERN DAY DILEMMA  Its 10:15am on Sunday when I finally decide to sit down and write this article.What you don't know is that Its two days overdue.Yes, like most of you, I like to postpone until the very last moment.See I decided to write this Article on Friday after watching the Social dilemma . The newest documentary about social media on Netflix .However I was  unable to write this article .Surprisingly I found time to watch about  fifteen videos on you tube, and  scrolled through  all my social media apps.Many of us don't stop to question all the recommendations we get from our favorite social media apps.Just how are these apps able to correctly predict videos we find intriguing  every single time.How do we spent hours on our social media apps  every day. The documentary might just be the scariest movie of 2020.The panel consists of Men and women who helped build algorithms to  monetize and popularize  popular soci...

 Who is to blame anyway? Recently I was reading on the newspaper how the covid 19 funds provided by the government to the counties were spent buying lavish tv sets that costs million of shillings. What's suprising the most is anybody I showed the article to was not shocked or surprised most people just mumbled how "they pocketed the money" and just continued doing whatever they are doing. This I found infuriating the most maybe because I wanted people to react to the way I reacted or even more annoyed! But truth be told this is not the first time they have heard the story before, the stories of embezzlement and mismanagement of funds in Kenya is not news that is really disheartening. Our education system is so poor that a crisis as big as the pandemic has forced schools to close indefinitely and students are forced to repeat. Our health system is so poor and exaguratingly expensive that a common mwananchi will not be able to afford. Not to mention the joke in the name of ...

Most of us grew up watching and reading about superheroes. Their willingness to help and protect people even at their own peril made them endearing. The Covid-19 pandemic has made life difficult for most people in different ways. With some, unable to get access to basic needs like food and shelter. Governments as usual have been unable to completely address these problems. The most amazing thing has been our ability to help each other during these tough times. All over the world, inspiring stories about real life super heroes in the form of neighbors helping each other and communities finding solutions to these problems have proven that humanity shines through even in the toughest times. Over the years, it is clear to see that sometimes ‘the power of Love does make the world go round’ There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness...

The 2022 election race began as soon as the 2017 election ended lines were drawn as some are yet to lay their stake and a whole conversation as to who will be the president is still yet to be known. As the whole Jubilee side is in chaos and the deputy president accusing the president of betrayal since he was supposed to “leave the country to him” as the successor. (Are we a democracy? Or what) They coined the term hustlers vs dynasties. It’s really creative, just think about it he has created a narrative as a hustler. A hustler according to Merriam-Webster is one who obtains money by fraud or deceit. Do I need to say more? Last week Makueni governor who luckily did not get impeached with all these impeachment hearings, announced his presidential ambitions. One of the reasons he decided to join the race is because people have requested and encouraged him to run for the seat. That’s indeed interesting. His announcement sparked an interesting discussion on several social media platforms w...