Can you forgive your partner who cheated?
I read this interesting article in the standard media, how Infidelity is the fastest growing business in Kenya. Currently with all the news circulating of celebs and prominent people caught cheating it has caused a bit of stir and controversies.
Last weekend I was out with some of my girlfriends through our random discussions we started discussing about cheating. It turned out to be a very heated debate where one friend said they can never forgive a spouse who cheated on her because the trust is already gone. My other friend said she will forgive the spouse if they promise not to repeat again. This banter went on and on so we had to agree to disagree.
This got me thinking can cheating be considered a mistake? And is ending a relationship the final solution? A research states that 30% to 60% of married individuals will engage in Infidelity at some point in their marriage. This is not limited to only men, women also cheat .
Relationships don't end because of cheating but rather they cheated because the relationship ended. This is to say that cheating is not a cause but the effect. We can't have one reason why people cheat, people cheat for several reasons.
It's easy to look for a person to blame when we are in such predicaments, some result in blaming their partners others the lady or man who was with their partner and majority tend to blame themselves they end up trying to see what they did wrong or what they didn't do enough and they start with the "if" game. If I did this he/she wouldn't have cheated or if i looked like this...
This always breeds low self esteem and depression. Some are even forced to pretend it doesn't exist to avoid confrontation.
Dealing with the cheating fall out, most people deal with this situation differently some decide to end the relationship and move on to the next relationship which is totally acceptable but one question you should ask yourself as you leave that relationship what did you learn? How will your next relationship be different? And try not to project your trust issues in the next relationship because that will create an issue.
Some decide to stay. First it doesn't mean they are weak or anything but maybe they decide to stay because they want to give their relationship a chance. This can also work as long as both partners are ready to work on the relationship. They might attempt to bridge the gap by seeking counseling. Communication is also important as they both face their feelings and fears and little by little build up the relationship. It will take time but if the partners are resolute they will build a stronger relationship. Don't stay in a relationship if your spouse is not ready to change.
I know some will say once a cheater always a cheater and to some degree I do agree with them but let's not generalize and give people a benefit of doubt they might surprise you. To clarify I am in no way condoning cheating but it's a common occurring issue and different people have different stand points.
Amaizing 👍
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